people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
