on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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