You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize