with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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