Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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