Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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