Say something about gay babies.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
