Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
