I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
