its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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