I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize