hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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