why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Terrible idea I love it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize