Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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