I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
