matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize