hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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