I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
