I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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