Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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