What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i love accidental penises.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize