in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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