You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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