It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
