I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
