Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
