i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
