Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
