Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
