You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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