im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
