Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
