wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
