Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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