Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
