haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
