i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
