just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
