I hope mine doesn't look like that
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
