The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
