So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
