just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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