I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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