i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
