I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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