His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
