At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
