I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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