love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
