Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
