Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
