oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
