Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
