i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
