Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize