trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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