He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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