11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
