for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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