Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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