Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
