that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
