In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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